Luck

Luck jokes

Insult

You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!

Mother

Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?

I really hit the mother lode with you!

Incest

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

Year

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

Mom

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

Memes

Rapper

Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?

Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!

Bar

A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

Roulette

I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.

Infidelity

Infidelity

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

Bad Luck

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

Rapper

Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?

Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!

People

No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.

Karma

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

Student

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

Sister

Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

Orphan

Why are orphans lucky?

Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.