Luck jokes
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?
Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."
The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"
My boyfriend said if I kiss him, I'll get lucky. I fell down a flight of stairs.
Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have $999,999.75.
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Good luck, Gwen, with everything!
A down-on-his-luck Newfoundlander takes a job in Toronto. He hates every minute of it. The housing is overpriced, the traffic a bottleneck. Frustrated, he starts saving every penny until he can buy a car to go home to the outport.
Eventually someone takes pity on him and offers to sell him a car with no reverse for fifty bucks.
"I takes it!" the Newfie replies, "because I don't intends on coming back anyway."
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!
Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!
Good luck, Jake.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"