Love jokes

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.

This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?

No Panera Bread.

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.

What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?

The second-hand book was loved once.

Why do orphans look so ugly?

Because they have a face not even a mother could love.

Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.

Orphan: How come?

Me: You wouldn't get it.

Orphan: . . . .

Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.

Are you a knife? Because I want you.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.

When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?

A: “Holes gonna be big.”

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

To be wanted.

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

I love eggs!