Love jokes
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Are you a knife? Because I want you.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
To be wanted.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.