Love jokes
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Are you a knife? Because I want you.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.