Love jokes

A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.

Angus' love life.

A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Everyone likes orphans but their parents.

I love you, Lovely Perv!

What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?

"Like ur cute g."

My career is worth more than your adoption.

A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?

Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.

I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍

Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.

When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...

Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.

I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.

Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.