Love jokes
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.
Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.
This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?
No Panera Bread.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
Are you a knife? Because I want you.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.