Love jokes
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
Rock, paper, lesbians.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
I love all races, even the bad ones.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.