Love Jokes

my mums a carrot

For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.

On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.

“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

Someone: I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE Me: Then stay at 1 000 000 km of me.

My nan must really love the quiet game shes been playing it for ages

Some people ask why jokes exist, I say when a mommy and daddy love each other very much they have sex and they make another one of you

So Kenny finally found his one true love. But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.

I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved...and shot her.

I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.

1 and 2 fell in love the 2 said your the only 1 for me!

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "where'd you get that lovely thing?" "Africa" the parrot replied.

Before Marriage Boy:At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even thing about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍 After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Girl: .... I like you... do you like me back? Me: Nope Girl: *is depressed* oh okay.... Me: u never said "love" Girl: oh! well do you love me? Me: frick no.