what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
Roses are red violets are blue Ukraine will go puff
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?
"I'm so crazy in love..."
đ”Penaldo Thrillsđ”
Câmon câmon turn the VAR on.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
Gotta dive and cry some more.
It's Penalty time and it won't be long.
âTil I Hit the floor and dive alot.
Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.
I kept asking these kids where there parents are and they started crying, I walked away laughing thinking i love my job at an orphanage
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
Why was an orphan loving school? Because the people actually came back.
"CoComelon meme,
No matter how fast I run, I can't escape my problems - OULEH...
Nobody loves me .v."
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Itâs not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why do people enjoy orphan jokes! Lol... I LOVE IT >:)
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
