Loss jokes
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar.
Why do orphans use water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Memes
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom and dad died, next you'll be gone too.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.