What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
Loss Jokes
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home.
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
You know why orphans can't play baseball? 'Cause they can't find home.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A family portrait.
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your Parents."
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
