Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
If you're looking at this, then look behind you!
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog đ, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Guy: Are you tired?
His âCrushâ: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because youâve been running through my mind all day?
His âCrushâ: Thatâs sweet.
Guy: Iâm joking, you donât look like you do any running.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
Youâre looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
I once masturbated in the bathroom.
I was looking for something, for a little help.
Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!
