Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Kevin Woody (look him up)
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
Your head looks like a joke.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
