Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
Your hairline looks like the Batman symbol.
Yo, hairline looking like a flight trajectory path.
Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.
I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
Your head looks like a joke.
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
