Look jokes
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,
Librarian: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking for a book!
Librarian: Which book?
Man: Facebook.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!
Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"