Look jokes

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.

The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"

"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"

Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?

Have a look at her face!

Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.

What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

Your looking sharp!

What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?

When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

Kevin Woody (look him up)

Your head looks like a joke.

I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.