Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
tommyinit said long live the queen. look at where shes at now
my freand said where is the trash i said look in the mirror thear is the trash
Guys look at the comments omg
I'm not racist, but the Ku Klux Klan look all the same to me.
I was doing a magic show, i tried to make a bunny disappear but it didn’t work. I walked outside in shame, i looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
Two natives sit in the bar getting shit faced. Almost closing time brother you gonna snag yeah I'm taking her home he walks over she gathers her things. Walking out together he takes her to his car outback they stay messing around then start having sex he starts to get carried away he looks at down at her she looks up at him and says slow down cousin your going to fast...
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them
I am a God Na, na, na, na, na, na Yeah She's got makeup by the mirror in her bedroom Thigh-high fishnets and some black boots Nose pierced with the cigarette perfume Half dead, but she still looks so cute She is a monster in disguise And she knows all the words to the trap songs Takes pic's with a cherry-red lipstick Says she only dates guys with a big..., mmm
when you look exactaly like your dead cousin and every body thinks she faked her death
FUCKING MENT
My brother :what are u looking at. me: a mistake
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination". I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Your so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends it looks like they are orbiting you
Look behind you there is Stephen hawking- nobody
POV: Wine Taster in hell
I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."
You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you. That face needing some laughing pills.
Happy birthday to you, you look like a ball, can’t fit in my jaws, I try to suck it
You may not like me but you still look up to me
