Logic jokes
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.
Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?
They are skilled at separating colors.
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
At the drive-thru window:
"I'd like a Big Mac without soup, please!"
"We don't serve soup here!"
"Well, I didn't order any!"
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.