Line jokes
Rizz,
Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.
Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.
You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.
Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
What’s long and black?
The line at the unemployment office.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)