Line jokes

Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in for ya?

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.

He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.

Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.

What's long and black, the line to KFC.

I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.

So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.

On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"

Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.

On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"

Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.

On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"

Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"

Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"

Doctor Seuss break up lines:

"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."

A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.

The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!

Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.

Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.

I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.

Man's hairline is back-court violation!

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?

Stopping it with a pitchfork.

When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.

What did the hairdresser say to the power line?

"Want a power cut?"

What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?

He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”