Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat Vehicles and Tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
A project where people get lined up to be changed.
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
Whats long and black. The line to KFC
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival, Because he was cutting in line.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
