Like jokes
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Yo mama was so fat that she jumped so hard, and the earth started shaking like an earthquake.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
"Proud Boys," more like insecure little bitches!
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
Your forehead built like Darkseid from DC.
Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!
Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.
Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.
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I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.
But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.
You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
Fruit is like ex-wives. They both look really good hanging from a tree.
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.
Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
I like ramen. If you do, like!
You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊♂️
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.