Broccoli says" I look like a tree" Walnut says "I look like a brain", Cashew says "I look like a kidney", Banana says "can we change the topic please? "
Like if your bestfriend is emo *repost* or like if you have a bestfriend
im m 24 and i was fucking a chinese lady and she kept screaming "im tu yung!" like idk what that name is
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
The Titanic, just like my phone IT JUST WON'T SYNC
Edit: Never mind it started to sync...
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also In a way kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wished you could F but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't...............
Americans be like: Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road.
England be like: Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road.
Russians after a car accident be like: Here in Russia, road is road.
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping.
Father: Sorry
Why do bisexual men 👨 👩 👨 love gay men bisexual men don't love gay men 👬 👨 👨 they just wanted to suck gay men's 👬 cocks 🌭 🌭 because they 👍 👍 like their 🍨 🍨 🍦 🍦 cream filling 😋 ☺ 💕 💖 🤗 😊 😋 ☺ 💕 💖 🤗 😊 😋 ☺
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me
You need a shovel to find her..
A black lady goes inside the drug store and ask the pharmacist do you carry tampons and then the pharmacist asked the black lady do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads? and then the black lady ask the pharmacist what is the difference? and then the pharmacist ask the black lady what is your flow like? and then the black lady tells the pharmacist linoleum
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack
I always hit on 16, the get busted
a girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says suck my dick and ill buy you a dress and she does it and says to him dad your Dick tastes like shit and he says yeah your brother wanted a car
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?”, he said
“It’s because God made you special.”, she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper
