Like jokes
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
Who likes eating ass?
My Little Pony.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.