Like jokes
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
Withered Bonnie, more like Bonnie Mcnutt!
What did the horses say to the donkeys?
"Jackasses, please like!"
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on the floor. But only for like twenty seconds.
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?
They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
Juice WRLD farts smell like McDonalds.
One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!