Like jokes
I like it when girls poop, it's really hot.
I like the big butt orange holes when the brown farter juice comes out of the orange. I like [it] a lot 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑 🤑
I get a big weiner when I think about big farting girls.
Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
My forehead so big,
big like Biggie Smalls. I love cock, please bum my hole.
Hi.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
How do cows like to play games? Moobile (Mobile).
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
Girl: I like girls.
Dad: Ok?
Girl 2: I like girls too.
Dad: Okay, so who likes boys?!
Boy: I do.
I've got not much of anything to be honest.
Been in special classes in school.
Not liked by people.
Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.
31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.
Not very smart.
Don't look good.
Hate myself more than anything.
Been a failure at everything in life.
Probably be alone forever.
People treat me like crap.
Can't do anything right.
And the list goes on and on.
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.