Like jokes
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Stephen Hawking like black willies.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
Me: I will rape you!
Woman: NOOOOOO!!! I AM TOO SCARED TO GET "RAPED"!
Why do women be like this?
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
What do rapists like to suck?
The life out of their victim.
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"
Texas be like everything is bigger here: guns and winter storms!
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.