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Baby

2 views ·

Wife: “I want another baby.”

Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”

Cannibal

2 views ·

The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

Penis

2 views ·

This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.

Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.

Noose

16 views ·

It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

Depression

3 views ·

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

Bro

18 views ·

Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

Adoption

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

Emo kid

7 views ·

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

Paul Walker

62 views ·

Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?

Why do you say that?

Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.

Student

36 views ·

A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."