Light Jokes

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb You can unscrew a light bulg

a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"

My black friend turned off the lights and suddenly disappeared

If you give a man a mach he is warm for the night but if you light a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life :)

why is the penis so light?

Because even thots can lift them

Attended my bosses funeral to pay my respect, on my way out I leant over his casket and whispered lightly.....'Well look whos thinking Outside the box now'.....

Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.

Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people? - Just switch off the lights.

how do you make a cat say woof? you cover it in petrol and light a match.

Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?

Lights are hanging.

Everytime a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol

If iI don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging from the roof

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

Brother 2(1): We have these weird circles on the street! Government is trakin' us!!! Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And its the government. Brother 2(1): Then why are there two in the left turn lane Brother 1: So 1 car isn't always going left and stopping the others. Brother 2(1): Then why are they 1 car apart. Oh to have 3 people going. Brother 1: Correct. When i see 1 car on the first. i go on the 2nd so my light changes. Brother 2(1): You monster. Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight? Brother 2(1):HA. yo mama would trigger the sensor. Brother 1. ARG. its OUR MAMA your disrespecting. Mother (brother 1):whats going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY! Brother 2(1): i think you should take your pills. Brother 1: found them. *imaginary mother and brother fade away* thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him. btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.