Light jokes
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
Me: The light wow brighter than my future.
Why did the moon go to sleep? Because he was bossy.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"