What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.
The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?
Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.
We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.
What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?
Sunbeams.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
