Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.

What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.🙂💊💉

Chuck Norris has been to Mars…that’s why there is no signs of life there.

What’s Thanos’ favorite game? Half-life

And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster

little johnny was siting in class one day and the teacher was talking about life and ask him " little johnny how do you want your wife to be like" and he answered " like the moon" and the teacher said " that’s such a beautiful answer because it calm and peaceful " and little johnny said " no because it appears at night and disappears in the morning"

What’s the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

Give a man a match he’ll be warm for a while but set a man on fire, he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well

My father said I’m to reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support

when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life

life’s too short to want it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life

My life

Tell me when you get it

What do you call a single bisexual? All bi myself.

My favorite joke my life

A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.

Friend 1: What’s the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

Website: Submit a joke :-) Me: My life.

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