Why did the crumb cake isolate him self? He had a crumbling social life
Remember kids, when you’re angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they’ll really be living the hard knock life.
1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds!
- Your so fat you could sell shade!
- Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good
A 10y.o. : I don’t want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn’t think I’m happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn… my life is shitty…
<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? googles it
Now 14y.o. : Oh…
If life gives you melons, you’re proababli dyslexic
There is nothing funnier than my life (Evan 2020)
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
My mom trying to get me to do dishes
Mom: I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes.
Me: Why did you?
Mom: I was very drunk…
Explains a lot…
I have a the best life coach ever, because he taught to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying “Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida.” I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was “You unplugged my life support”, that’s when I called the doctor…
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
Life is a or like a penis. Long, free, flowimg, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard.😉
I liked my life when I first got it…later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
life is like giving head…it always sucks
life as an elevator has its ups and downs
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.
All you need is a Razor Blade in life.
What is the scariest thing you’ll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
My grandfather tells me I’m too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.