Friend 1: What’s the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
Then there is me: My life.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless…” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
whats sad and has no life .the person reding this
my happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my h.i.v test w/out studying
And the Lord said onto John, “Come forth to receive eternal life”. But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke:")
A 10y.o. : I don’t want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn’t think I’m happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn… my life is shitty…
<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? googles it
Now 14y.o. : Oh…
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
Q: give a man a day of therapy he’ll be sad for then and on A:give a man a noose he’ll be sad for the rest of his life
Why did the crumb cake isolate him self? He had a crumbling social life
If life gives you melons, you’re proababli dyslexic
My favorite joke is my life
life as an elevator has its ups and downs
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I dont think he really gave a dam about it at all.
And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.