Life jokes

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.

Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.

I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?

What makes a child an orphan?

Their parents left them for good. :D

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?

Because it’s the only magical string in his life.

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday.

Why does an orphan play GTA?

To get wanted.

Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?

Orphan: ...

What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?

The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!

When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.

Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.

I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...