Life jokes

What’s a homeless person's favorite food?

What is the difference between a human and a tree?

A tree cannot walk, and a human can walk.

I will tell you a joke--your life.

You have 10 to live.

“Wait, as in 10 minutes?”

10, 9, 8...

Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!

Bro told me this when he passed away.

I’m “Fading.”

"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"

"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"

Wow, this group is a joke, like my life.

My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!

Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!

"Morbidity, the story of my life in one joke."

I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

Jesus has had all the time in the world and all the power in the world to do whatever he wanted.

Guess what he has to show for nothing, but putting us in hell!

Being an absolute waste breathe of life, and of power!

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost!!!!!!! Hahahaha. Banta everyone on this site has 0 life and should leave.

Jakob's life.

"Get a life, dum dums!"

Says the fucking moron.

I once gave birth to 3 children.

Now their owner is dying.

HAHAHAHA

What is a neonatal's first time in the world?