Life jokes
Your life (ಥ ͜ʖಥ).
What is life?
Your life.
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
Moment and I
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
A self-raising [flour].
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
The joke is me.
My friend's life.
My life </3 XD :'(
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)
Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
Guys stop before I tell my parents!