Life jokes
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
Yo people!
Little Johnny's actually dead!
What’s a homeless person's favorite food?
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
Little Johnny died.
Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.
Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
MAGAnon STOP SCAMING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."
Why do orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"