Life jokes
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."
I had a good day.
I love having fun.
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
What is the difference between a human being and a tree?
A human can walk and a tree cannot walk.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Your family in a nutshell.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
I love time.
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
Why is time important? To not be late.
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
My life is a joke.
A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.