Life

Life jokes

I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.

Orphan: Where... Oh.

Me: Hey, how are you?

Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3

Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?

Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.

Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!

Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)

Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!

Me: Ok, and their names?

Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!

Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)

Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.

Me: Ok, see you soon! :3

Me now hates my life. :)

I can’t wait for collage....

5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.

What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

  • 3

    • A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.

  • 0

    • Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.

    But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

    Why do orphans love to play family?

    Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.