Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
Life Jokes
You wanna hear an orphan joke?
Okay, here it goes:
You.
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.
Someone dies.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Jesus has had all the time in the world and all the power in the world to do whatever he wanted.
Guess what he has to show for nothing, but putting us in hell!
Being an absolute waste breathe of life, and of power!
