Life jokes
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Me. I am the joke.
Never kill an orphan, because then that will end their misery.
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
Why can orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."