Life jokes
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!
Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.
Lol, Surprise!
Joke being on them.
As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.
Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!
HELL!
P.S. With a little extra punishments!
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??
Flowers get picked.