Life jokes
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
Why can’t orphans fly? Because they’re still winging it.
Orphan
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
What’s the difference between me and grass? Grass doesn’t cut itself.
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!
Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Me. I am the joke.
Never kill an orphan, because then that will end their misery.
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.