Life jokes
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
What’s the difference between me and grass? Grass doesn’t cut itself.
Why do orphans like Monopoly?
To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!
Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Me. I am the joke.
Never kill an orphan, because then that will end their misery.
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
My life, but wait, jokes actually have meaning.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.
The tree left him hanging though.
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing.