Life jokes
I once gave birth to 3 children.
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Don't joke about Juice WRLD; he died a hard life, so get f***ed.
Guys stop before I tell my parents!
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.
PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.
The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.