At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
Life Jokes
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.
Disappointing.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹
I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.
I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"
And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"
And I said: "Your parents."
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working in an orphanage!
