Life jokes
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.š
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both canāt hear their parents.
Why canāt an orphan go to Family Dollar? They donāt have a family.
Donāt mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working in an orphanage!
God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, āMan, itās hard to think of something when your life is on the line.ā
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! š¤¬š”
My life is so sad it's because you're in it.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Orphan Friend: Sure.
Friend: Parents.
Other: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.