Life jokes
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.
When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Wait, they don't have any.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
I once gave birth to 3 children.
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Don't joke about Juice WRLD; he died a hard life, so get f***ed.
Guys stop before I tell my parents!
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.
PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂
I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!
What issues don't orphans have?
Daddy issues.