Life jokes
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
Haha, the joke is me.
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
I was playing hangman, and I gave up on the word "LIFE".
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?
What's the most annoying thing in the world?
When you're told you're still qualified to live.
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because anyone can take it.
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
COBRA GRINDSET OF THE DAY: Depression isn't real. You feel sad, you move on.
You will always be depressed if your life is depressing. Change it, bitch!
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
End everything and your life, Steven Roca!
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.