Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: oh right you don't have one *laughs* Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS* 2021-2022
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette he will be warm for a short time, But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of there lives.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
I think I found the worst joke in life ,For me it's that i have always been unwanted and alone for my hole life and I've have never even been In a relationship with anyone and I'm 31 years old and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy ,all I get out of life, is seeing everyone else with someone ,and knowing it will never happen for me , I think that's the worst joke I can think of .LIFE. Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with I apologize with the wording to this it's another thing I am a failure at
feel free to comment
Submit a joke: my sad ass life
I've got not much of anything to be honest Been in special classes in school Not liked by people Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me 31 years old and never had sex pathetic Not very smart Don't look good Hate myself more than anything Been a failure at everything in life Probably be alone forever People treat me like crap Can't do anything right And the list goes on and on
So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet the answer is ,I forget I'm a extreme procrastinator keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
Define abnormal life.
Waking up everyday living a sane life!
why did the question come to life anser the addison subtrating times divided by and eqlise came to life and sqiched pages
Life asked death "why do people choose you over me?" death replied "because your the beautiful lie and i'm the painful truth."
The closest thing in a depression person's life is a knife and his/her throat
Imagine being such a low life that u need people to roast u to have stuff to do
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
Why do your orphans don’t drink beer. Because last time they did he went to suck some dudes toes then he try to take him to his parents but I guess that never happened
If you have a bad day just think there all at least 15 people who care about you
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery but toady is a gift that is why it I called the present.
