Life jokes
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.
What's worse than dedicating your life to build back the towers? Doing it and getting terrorized for it...
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
Orphan, they're enough of a joke.