Life jokes

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?

We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.

I had fun.

What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

Why is your nan gay? Because she's an orphan.

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

How did the orphan survive birth?

U

Life's too short to want it.

"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?

Do you know what my favorite time of day is?

6:30, hands down.

There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)

How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.

So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."

I had a good day.

I love having fun.

If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.

No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.

I help suicidal people.

BTW verb not adjective.

Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)