Library

Library Jokes

*A man walks into a library* Man: Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide? Librarian: Do you know about our return policy? Suicidal Man: ... Librarian: ... The Woman checking out a book: WHAT THE FUCK?

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian says f*** no you won’t return it

A woman walk into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once but he couldnt tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his ar

5

Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" Girl: "dude, this is a library" Me: "oh" (screwing on a silencer)

1

Q-Who’s the fastest readers in the world? A-the 911 victims, they when through 20 stories in seconds

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

0

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah, that's the one!"

1

My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.