Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out of school early!
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
What did the rapper say to the vegetable?
"Lettuce DROP some BEATS!"
What did the DJ say to the VEGETABLE?
"Lettuce turnip the beet!"
Lettuce ketchup.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.
Kaas.
What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
