Lettuce jokes
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out of school early!
Kaas.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
Why did the lettuce win the race?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.