Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
What did the rapper say to the vegetable?
"Lettuce DROP some BEATS”
What did the DJ say to the VEGETABLE?
"Lettuce turnip the beet"
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."
LOL
There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
Today i went to get a sub and they asked me if i wanted all vegetables.. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Kaas.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
knock knock lettuce in
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
Say "lettuce" and spell "cup."
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
