OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE. ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
What’s the difference between jail and my basement?
Some people are let out of jail
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
i just wanted to say to never let go of family they are everything never let anyone walk all over you and if you are with me like this quote
a depressed kid went to go high five a tree
but the tree let him hanging
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
everyone: so wait let me get this straight feminist want to cancel fathers day because it is offensive to single mothers
feminist: correct
everyone: THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF MOTHERS DAY
A hot girls wants to do suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly smelly homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says "hey you hot babe, let's fuck. She just answers "get the fuck away you ugly bastard". The guy just laughs and says "alright i wait down there".
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said “ Let me break it down for you like the twin towers.”
So I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier the look on her face or that the abortion clinic let me keep her
The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
These three men wanted to start a band one had the idea to call them the rolling stones, one wanted to call them the veggies the other said lets be the cripples as they all rolled away
Son: Dad I had sex for the first time. Dad: Would you like to talk about it? Son: Sure Dad: Sit down and lets talk about it. Son: I can't my butt hurts.
guys we should not make fun of 9/11 like that stuff is just plane out crazy like you all should not let that fly
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents we're taken so her shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: Can I play with your bellybutton my mom always let's me when we camp. So the teacher says: Sure 5 minutes later the teacher says: Woah Woah Woah that's not my bellybutton! Little Johnny says: Woah Woah Woah thats not my finger.
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me Shoyu."
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off
I saw a emo orphan by a tree and I was going to give it a high-five but instead I just let it hang.➰
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
