Legs jokes
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't coming.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail. "Doctor, doctor!" He cries out. "What is it?" The doctor asks. "I can't feel my legs!" The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded. ". . . That's because I amputated your arms."
What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.
What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.
You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?
They’re both easy to spread.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
What kind of cow has 2 legs?
YOUR MOM!!
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.