Legs jokes
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
Why couldn't the kid play on his laptop?
Because he has no arms and no laptop and no legs and no head and no home and no money and got shot.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?
Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.
I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I'm a flamingo...
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
I have no legs.
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.