Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.
My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
