Least jokes
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
An apple a day keeps a doctor away... at least if you throw it hard enough.
I was watching the news and heard a segment about a blind hooker who got stabbed 40 times.
At least she didn't see it coming.
Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.
British people r so dumb dang
I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.
Friend: "Your jokes are too short."
Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."
Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."
Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."
Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
Who is Tracy Latimer's least favourite Beauty and the Beast character?
GASton.
What song does an orphan hate?...
"I'm so lonely."
My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
Stephen Hawking's least favorite song is "I'm Still Standing."
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?
Because they can't get a parent's signature.
Which animal is the least trustworthy?
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.