Least jokes
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was “Jiro Dreams of Sushi.”
One of the least popular documentaries was “Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape.”
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.