Least jokes

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.

Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?

Standing Tall.

What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.

What is Hitler's least favorite month?

Jewly.

I respect cancer more than I respect depression.

At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.

An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.

"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."

Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.

The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.

The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".

An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.

What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!

My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?

At least Hitler actually did something.

What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?

You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.

What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.

I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.

There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?

New York Jets.

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."

What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.