Learning Jokes

The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.

Damn, the terrorists from CS:GO really do be learning to fly.

Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.

Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?

A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.

Why did the rapper go to school?

To learn how to drop some KNOWLEDGE on his tracks.

An illustration of a red fire engine with two people standing near it. The text below in German says: "Das Hilfeleistungslöschgruppenfahrzeug der Feuerwehr. Es transportiert Feuerwehrleute, Leitern, Werkzeuge, Schläu."

I'm not completely useless....

I can be used as a bad example!

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?

When it fails to turn up.

I learned that a strangler was targeting me.

All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"

I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.

There was a dino at the library today.

It was reading a thesaurus.

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.

By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.

I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.

During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.

Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.

Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn.

When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.

A man found out that he was going to die.

A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"

Then he died and learned how to say no in German....

School's being safe.

People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.

Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.