Learning jokes

Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.

Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!

Teacher: Where’s the P?

Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)

Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never learned how to home cook.

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

Why are fish smart?

They live in a school.

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

Why do elves go to school?

To learn the elf-abet.

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.

Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."

Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.

I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.

As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

Where does a banana learn to split?

At sundae school!

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

"Where do young trees go to learn?"

"Elementree school."

I did a good job of being home from school.

I love school.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."