Learning jokes
What is the leader of the school supplies?
The ruler!
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Why are fish smart?
They live in a school.
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
I love school.